Supermoms vs My Mom (Expert Parenting Tips)

​I’m here to tell you the truth about parenting.   I feel like I’m an expert in this subject.  Yep.  I had a grandmother.  I have a mother. I am a mother.  And, I’m a step-mother.  That’s a TON of experience, don’t you think?  Eh well, doesn’t really matter because I’m going to tell you my opinions anyway.  After all, everyone’s opinions matter – especially in a subject that is so subjected to criticism.   Right!?

Let’s face it.  Parenting is stressful.  Many times, it downright sucks the big one!  Today, most women need to work more than 40 hours a week outside of the home AND not just be mothers, but be SUPERMOMS too boot!  The pay is so freakin’ not worth it, the hours are inconceivable, the job duty list is out of control and the appreciation factor is laughable.

We live in a society where, as parents, we are condemned to be over-stressed, over worked, over loaded, and just plain over it….  Our kids are accused of being things like narcissistic, egotistical, lazy, spoiled, and ungrateful little humans.

FAILURE.

Mothers are set up to fail.  Yep, all of us.  Not only are we set up to fail in this God-forsaken job, at the same time, we are being judged by other moms that are failing as well.  Bitches.

Let’s take a step back.  I don’t mean to brag (ok, I do), but I have 3 fully grown children that don’t seem to be on drugs, addicted to alcohol or failing out of college.  Actually, I think they are really GOOD people.  Like, they are respectable, genuinely nice, hardworking and happy little people!  I know, right!?  This is what success as a parent should be, right?

Then, I look back at myself.  Again, I don’t mean to brag (ok, I do), but I am not on drugs, addicted to alcohol nor did I fail out of college!  I went off and received my Master’s in Holistic Health and Nutrition, opened my own successful business, am respected by many (unless they lie) and am truly happy!  So, how’d that happen? 
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Parenting.

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​Let’s talk about my mother.  Maybe she’s the expert?  I mean really, she did raise me into a SUPERMOM! (I’m laughing my ass off right now!  Me, a SUPERMOM?!)  My mother taught me many life-lessons that only her generation of parents could do.  She taught me about the things that are truly important in this world. 

If my mom is the expert in parenting, then everyone should know how she did it!  Her parenting techniques are just not quite used anymore and it’s a shame….

This is where the shit gets real….  This is the section I like to call “Today vs. My Mom”.

TODAY:  On Facebook this morning, there was a post from one of my “friends”.  She’s frantically staying up until 2am every night to finish her daughter’s quarterly scrapbook.  It’s a ritual that this ever-so dedicate and most lovable mom (and may I add bat-shit crazy) has done for all her kids, for every quarter of every year of their lives. 

(Ok, I feel like maybe I'm one of those judgemental bitches?!)

But, it’s the price we pay for happy children, right?  After all, we are SUPERMOMS!
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MY MOM:  What did my mother do for us?  Well, we have some pictures of us as children (yeah, lots of Polaroids that are quite faded now).  Very few ended up in regular photo albums.  We had to scrounge around for some to display at graduation, but I don’t think it would have made me happier having a scrapbook for every quarter of my life.  

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​TODAY:  Families are going broke keeping up with the Kardashians or other SUPERMOMS by buying their children brand new, brand name clothing that they’ll outgrow in 2 months.  $20 for a pair of socks?  $170 for a pair of sneakers they’ll use for one sport season? 
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MY MOM:  When I was young, let’s say about 7, I remember roaming around JC Penny and asking my mom for a pair of Lee jeans.  It was the shit back then.  Everyone was wearing them, and I wanted a pair!  My mom flat-out refused and said “You can get 3 pairs of jeans for that price”. (They were $20 back then – I remember very vividly.)  And she walked away to continue to browse the clearance racks.  I didn’t fight back.  I didn’t say a word.  I just chose my cheap-ass pairs of jeans and we left the store. 

And expensive sneakers?  Now that’s laughable!  My mom bought my sneakers at Kmart.  They were $9 on sale (yes, I really do remember).  But hey, I actually did like the pink and white high-tops!  They were comfortable and might I say quite fashionable.
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I don’t ever remember getting any name-brand anything when I was a kid.  Am I angry at my mom, well, maybe I was back in the day, but today, I look back at it and think about how she taught me money management.  And I’m really good at it!  Thanks Mom!

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TODAY:  I know a family where the high schooler is driving the most expensive vehicle they have in their family.  The parents drive old cars, and the kid gets the fancy cross-over!?  Say what!?  It’s all about show now-a-days.

MY MOM:  I tried to tell her once to NOT pick me up from school in the old brown bomber of a car.  There were dents all over it and it was rusting out.  It was an eye-sore and I had to get in it in front of the entire school to see.  Then, when I started driving, I drove a rusted out, bright orange conversion van that my dad sold for $250.  Ugh, I loved that van!
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In this little life lesson, my mother taught me humility and not to care what others think of you.  She didn’t care who saw her in a run-down piece of shit.  It saved her money and that’s what mattered.  I don’t drive a piece of shit, but I also don’t feel like I need to keep up with the fancy houses, hot tubs and whatever else people think they have to buy because their friends have one…  Thanks Mom!

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​TODAY:  Athletics, athletics, athletics.  It’s all about sports!  If you don’t have a top-of-the-line athlete for a child, you somehow failed society.  SHAME!  Parents will spend unlimited amounts of money and time doing whatever it takes to train their child to be the best.  And they actually believe their child IS the best!

MY MOM:  I wanted to sign up for gymnastics in grade school.  Seriously, I think I could have been an Olympic Champ!  I’m short and flat-chested…um, perfect!  (Well, perfect for a gymnast!)  She finally signed me up for a program in a city about 10 miles from our farm.  She took me to one practice and that was the end of it.  I didn’t get to go back.  She told me it was because she didn’t have time.  As an adult, I wonder now that maybe she watched me at that one practice and knew then and there that I wasn’t BORN TO BEND and why waste her time.  Hm?
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She may not have taught me anything at the time, but she has taught me that sometimes, your kid isn’t as good as you think they are and maybe you should let them do other things that’ll make them happier!  My own daughter was in dance class when she was little.  She was only in it for 2 years and the dance teacher told me that she was A NATURAL!  HA!  I almost laughed out loud at her.  I’m not blind.  I could see that my daughter was tall, lanky and uncoordinated.  She didn’t go back and the dance teacher didn’t get any more money from me….  I have real expectations of my children and I have never pushed them into anything.  I really believe they are happier people for that.  Thanks Mom!

TODAY:  Moms are stressed to the max this time of year trying to plan their children’s summers.  They need to be fully entertained, enlightened and continuously educated during their time off, otherwise, the worst happens!  They get into the wrong crowd, do drugs and start stealing!
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MY MOM:  “GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE!”  That was basically the theme for our summer activity schedule.  She wanted us to stay busy or maybe just out of her hair – outside.  She didn’t do crafts with us.  She didn’t buy the workbooks.  She didn’t sign us up for any camps.  She just pushed us into being creative with our time.  Damn her!  Now she has 3 creative girls.  Thanks Mom!

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There are so many more lessons but so little time to type….

Just last Mother’s Day, I posted on Facebook that I had such a great childhood.  My mother did the best she could and it was by far enough.  I look up to her and her parenting skills.  After all, she raised an amazing daughter (that’s me - I feel like I need to point that out) and lived thru it!  I am happy, successful and blessed.  My mother is truly a SUPERMOM!  (You can believe me, because I’m a parenting expert!)  So take some lessons from her.  Teach your children the important things in life and let them be happy.
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Thanks Mom!